Each night when my husband and I say our prayers, we go through a list of people we are praying for. At least 6 families we are close to are currently or have been facing cancer in the last year. Some are very young, some went really fast, some are battling it for the 2nd and 3rd time. It is heart breaking. One friend of mine died of lung cancer and never smoked a day in her life.
We, as humans, don't always know what to do and say in certain situations. I think it makes things a lot worse when we don't say anything at all. I feel it is even better to say, "I don't know what to say but we care and we are here for you."
I often wonder, too, what to do for them. Most people won't ask for help so you just have to do it. I came upon this list of 10 things to do when a loved one has cancer.
10 Ways to Help a Loved One with Cancer
When someone you care about is diagnosed with cancer, you want to help, but may be uncertain about exactly what to do. Chemotherapy, surgery and radiation can consume enormous time and energy. Here are ways to lend a hand:
- Become the point person. Serve as the central figure to coordinate volunteer efforts. The point person not only can assign tasks and create schedules for meal delivery, errands and childcare, but also can update others about the patient's status. This prevents the patient from being inundated with phone calls.
- Deliver food. A patient is often too tired, weak or sick to shop, prepare meals and clean up - not to mention feeding family members, too. Yet, maintaining good nutrition is critical during treatment. The "point person" should find out the patient's food preferences (or restrictions), then assign meal times to willing caregivers. Place an ice chest by the front or back door for food drop-off, so the patient won't be disturbed. Or, if company is desired, plan to share the meal. Avoid creamy and rich foods; focus on lean meats, vegetables, whole grains and hearty soups. In addition to meals, provide healthy treats, such as nuts, dried fruit, wholegrain muffins, fresh fruit and fruit juices to supplement nutrition when the patient isn't up for a regular meal.
- Run errands. Everyone has routine errands. Even if a patient has time and energy, at times they may not want to go to stores and risk exposure to infections, colds and viruses. Offer to run to the grocery store, drugstore, gas station, dry cleaners and other regular spots.
- Perform chores. There's also a never-ending list of personal, house and yard duties. Organize a group for housecleaning, yard work, laundry, pet care and other essential household tasks.
- Offer childcare. Children demand a lot of care and attention, and are often scared and confused when a parent is undergoing treatment. Helping a child maintain a normal way of life can help ease anxiety. Offer to carpool, drive to after-school activities or baby-sit. Invite kids to your home and provide fun activities, such as baking or games. Take them to the movies or a special outing. This brings some normalcy back to their lives and helps ease the guilt a parent feels from neglecting their kids during treatment.
- Conduct research. A patient can feel overwhelmed with all the information they need to amass and understand in order to make major decisions—often with little time. They may need to determine which oncologists, surgeons and hospitals should provide their care or provide a second opinion. Friends and family can conduct Internet research through reputable and trusted cancer sites, such as this one, as well as the American Cancer Society, the National Cancer Institute, and other trusted sites. Cancer survivors are another good resource, providing first-person advice. Also consider books, magazines and other materials. Once you collect the information, condense it for the patient, so they don't have to muddle through a mound of paper.
- Become a treatment "buddy." Accompany the patient to doctor visits, tests and screenings. Long hours and boredom await a patient going through treatment. One to two-hour waits to see a doctor or receive radiation therapy are not uncommon, and chemotherapy infusions can take even longer. Also, depending on your relationship with the patient, it's helpful to have a second party in the exam room to take notes, since it can be difficult to absorb everything the physician says. Finally, a patient may be too drained to drive, so having a "personal chauffeur" for appointments is a much-welcomed luxury.
- Send gifts. Flowers, cards, candles, bubble bath, books, magazines, games, chocolates, pajamas, hats/scarves and anything else that's fun, humorous, comforting and delicious can perk up a patient – particularly when they are feeling down.
- Offer companionship. If a patient is up for company, take time to visit one-on-one. Do something fun, like shopping or seeing a movie. Take a walk together. Have tea. Listen to their fears and frustrations. The best thing to do for someone who is suffering is to let them know they are not alone. Cancer makes people feel isolated from the rest of the world. It removes someone from their regular way of life. They have to face their mortality and may lie awake at night, focusing on their fears. Letting someone know you are with them through every step of their journey is the best comfort you can provide.
- Consider prayer. If you practice it – or know someone who does – do it. Most patients appreciate knowing they are on a prayer list. Cancer brings up fear of the unknown – and the inevitable. Letting someone know you are praying for them conveys they are cared about and are not alone.
For more info. please visit: http://www.nccn.org/patients/resources/life_with_cancer/managing_symptoms/help_loved_one.aspx
BEST ATTITUDE!!!!!!!!!!
One friend in particular had the best attitude. She had stage 4 lung cancer and passed away within about 4 months. A couple months into it, she said, "Well, I look at it this way...I can eat all the M&Ms I want and go tanning all I want!" I thought that was the greatest attitude and will never forget that. This is my new tradition. To take a Costco size bag of M&Ms to my friends who have cancer. I just started this so have only taken one bag but it was super fun and I think the family enjoyed it. It is tradition I want to carry on in honor of my beautiful friend Heidi. I love and miss her so much. I hope one day I will understand why cancer even exists. Here are some pictures of my fist M&M delivery. I love Lori and wish I could take away her pain and heartache...
********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
My Younique news of the week!
So October 1st was a big, exciting day in Younique History! We launched in Mexico for Presenters to sign up and start selling Younique! The first 999 Presenters in a new country is called the Triple Digit Club. They are an exclusive group that will always be know in that country and the founding Presenters of their country. They get a special charm. In the U.S., it took 9 months to fill this club. In Mexico, it only took about 6 or 7 hours! It was awesome! I am proud to say that our first Presenter from Mexico just recently joined our team and I couldn't be more excited!!! If you have any family or friends there, please let me know! I give great referral gifts!!! Here are some of our newest products. I am in LOVE with our liquid foundation and concealer as well as our 15 shades of lipstick!
To order please visit http://www.youniueproducts.com/Jess
******************************************************************************************************************************************************************
Just call me Grandma!!!
I never thought at 39 years old I would be a Grandma. But, here we go!!! Our daughter Janessa and her wonderful husband John are expecting a little one in April! We could not be more excited!!! Scroll to the bottom to find out the sex! They found out at like 13 or 14 weeks. Amazing, huh? They are going to make FANTASTIC parents!!! I am so excited and happy for them!
Jess
